Paranormal Wire's Tuesday Tips and Tidbits...

From Paranormal Wire guest post...

TUESDAY TIPS AND TIDBITS – Mr. M, the Self-Published Author’s Worst Best Friend

Who is this mysterious Mr. M everyone keeps saying you, the self-published author, simply must meet? Maybe you’ve already got a significant other in your life, and you don’t want any demanding complications from some smarmy dude everyone’s all gaga over. Well, everybody needs friends – especially the author who self-publishes a book. And every single self-published author who wants to sell books needs to be very close friends with Mr. M. He’s the person when it comes to book marketing.

Oh! There’s that dreaded ‘M’ word – marketing. Go ahead, you can say it out loud without fearing Freddy Kruger’s going to come flying out of the bathroom mirror or your bedroom closet and rip your face off – or whatever thing it is you fear, that you subconsciously have told yourself will happen if you even say that dreaded word.

There’s nothing to be afraid of except fear itself – as long as you take a realistic approach to marketing. And if you’re an author who’s thinking about or has already decided to self-publish, then good ol’ Mr. Marketing is going to have to become a familiar acquaintance. No, more that that. Mr. Marketing is going to be your very favorite friend, good buddy, best pal. Mr. Marketing is going to go everywhere with you ... to work, to school, to your mom’s house for Sunday dinner. He will even go on dates with you, whether you’re single or doing the married ‘date night’ thing. Mr. Marketing is going to camp out in your apartment, or house, or basement hovel, or wherever you call home. So you might as well keep a spare set of PJs and an extra toothbrush for Mr. Marketing, because he is going to be the last face you see before you close your eyes at night, and the first face you see in the morning when you stare blandly off into space over your cereal bowl. Mr. Marketing is going to be your second shadow from now on, so get to know him as well and as quickly as you can. That is, if you want to sell more than ... say ... five copies of your book. Total. For however many years you have your book out there for sale.

And let me tell you, Mr. Marketing is not an easy guy to get to know. He’s quirky, unpredictable, and fickle – and he loves to play practical jokes. What do I mean? Well, you know that awfully-written teen-slasher romance some gal in your writers’ group self-published five months ago? Yeah, Mr. Marketing’s going to make that an astounding bestseller (at least a bestseller in the awfully-written teen-slasher romance genre). And just to make things more interesting, Mr. Marketing will ignore your repeated pleas for some kind of recognition – any kind, good or bad – for your book that hasn’t sold any copies in the last three months, despite the all the book blogging and promotion flogging you’ve been doing. The fact that you’ve given up your bed for Mr. Marketing and have taken to sleeping in the chair with your laptop means nothing. If left up to Mr. Marketing, all your hard work at self-promotion could end up producing zero results. So take Mr. Marketing’s advice, but don’t leave it up to him to make the magic happen. That’s your job – and yes, you did sign up for it when you decided to publish your own book.

You’re probably saying right about now ... Mr. Marketing sounds like a real demanding pain in the rear, like one of those pesky distant relatives who comes to visit and then never seems to want to leave. And really, who wants to go to all that extra trouble to befriend some self-absorbed snark like Mr. Marketing? Why doesn’t he just go make a nuisance of himself somewhere else? Who the heck would even want a despicable scoundrel like Mr. Marketing for a friend, anyway?

Well, you, for one. Not because he’s a likable guy, but because he knows people. And he knows stuff, like how to make connections with your readers, how to get the word out about your books, and how to meet real people whom you can call real friends. Mr. Marketing is the type of guy you have to study. Sometimes he gives up his secrets grudgingly. But once you figure out all his little quirks and plans and shortcuts, you can be well on your way to becoming an author who sells tens of thousands of copies of your book, rather than ten ... period.

And the truth is, Mr. Marketing doesn’t really care whether you like him or not, because he has many, many, many other writers out there just begging to be his friend, promising to do anything if he’ll just show them some of his winning secrets. Mr. Marketing doesn’t need you at all. You need him. But there are a few important things to remember before you open your door wide and invite Mr. Marketing in...

MAKE FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE. Mr. Marketing’s number-one secret that self-published authors need to know is ... drum roll please ... how to make friends and keep them. How to meet influential people who can help you on your quest to be a successful author – and actually get them to help. In short, how to get in good with the right kind of friends in the book and reader business. To do that, you need to follow Mr. Marketing’s example and network. (Sorry, there’s another nasty term nobody wants to use.) I don’t mean just go to writing conventions and pass around your business card or a collection of writing samples on a CD to a bunch of strangers wandering around. I mean really meet and talk to people. Learn to schmooze and be a pleasant partier. Practice the gift of gab but know when to shut up. Never say bad stuff about anyone to anyone, because Mr. Marketing, with his quirky sense of humor, will make sure it gets back to the wrong person, pronto. In short, be you, but make sure you are always the best you can be.

MODERATION. While Mr. Marketing may be camped out in your living room, don’t let him take over your life. Another of Mr. Marketing’s most important secrets is that successful authors have a life outside their writing ... a life they share with family and friends. Maintain a balance between work and play, and work and life. Maintain a good work ethic. Take care of your health. Take care of your family. Take care of your day job to keep food on the table and a roof over your head. In the merry-go-round of life, don’t fall off the carousel horse as you grab for the brass ring.

PERSPECTIVE. Another important thing to remind yourself of periodically is to keep things in perspective. Self-promotion is not always about you, and it’s certainly not always about your book. People are constantly bombarded by infomercials and ads, and they tire quickly of repetitive sales pitches. If that’s all they hear from you, they’ll stop listening. If you want to attract a reading – buying – audience, make sure what you have to sell is something they want to buy. If Mr. Marketing teaches you anything at all, it’s that blogging, tweeting, facebooking, conferencing, book signings, and all that stuff is not about the book or about you ... it’s about life, about the connections life offers, about what you have to offer your readers. The key is to turn things around so you can answer one question and answer it well when prospective readers ask, “What’s your book got for me?”

GIVE AND YE SHALL RECEIVE. Be a good friend, and you will have good friends ... friends you can count on when the chips are down, friends who will tell their friends about you and your book. Friends who know friends who might give you some newsworthy exposure or in some other way boost your chances of getting the word out about your book. Team up with other like-minded authors to share the burden of promotion. Treasure and respect those professional bonds, because you never know when something surprising and good will come your way.

And finally, just be a good person. Think positive. Treat others as you would have them treat you. And treasure the people in your life who make your life worthwhile. Enjoy your life and don’t take anything for granted.

WRITE A DAMN GOOD BOOK. After all the hype and promo and sales pitches are done, at the end of it all better be a really good book. Otherwise everything Mr. Marketing can do for you will be wasted.

There are many things that are necessary to make a book good. Good editing, good cover, good marketing approach. But for your book to be great, it should have a life of its own, a life that sprang from the essence of what is important to you. This is what should be in your book. Whether it’s humor, horror, romance, children’s bedtime stories, or nonfiction, your book should be personal enough to mean something to you. If it does, chances are it will mean something to the people who read it, who will tell others to read it, and then like a chain reaction, you will have marketed your book.

This will happen only because you put what was important to you in your book, and you believed in yourself and your book. If you believe in you – in your book and your ability and perseverance to make your book a success – you’ll do what it takes to make your book the best it can be, what it needs to be to fulfill its destiny in the world of reading and the lives of your readers.

If Mr. Marketing teaches you anything worthwhile, it will be that – and that’s what will sell your book!

Pat Morrison, Penumbra Publishing

TUESDAY TIPS AND TIDBITS - Why IT isn't finished, and how to finish IT

Broadland Suspense, The Blue Lady

GUEST BLOG AT PARANORMAL WIRE...

One of the hardest things for a beginning author to do is finish that first book and get it ready for publishing. There are several camps on this issue, some of them taking approaches that thwart progress and make IT, the book, unlikely to ever get published...

As long as I work on IT, I’ll still be writing. Some authors are born fussers. They fuss with something and can’t leave it alone. They’re obsessive about fixing every little perceived error. They wake up one morning and have an epiphany – my book’s just not good enough and needs completely revamped – so they start over from scratch and rewrite it. They do this so many times, the book doesn’t even resemble what they originally started with. Why? Because they can’t let go of their baby, their heart and soul. They’ve put everything they have of themselves into it, and they just can’t bear for it to leave their hands and their realm of control. Because once a book is sent out to an agent or a publisher for consideration, the author gives up control of the book’s fate. The author puts the book in the hands of strangers, hoping it will be well received, but the author has no control over how the book will be received, except to do the very best to make it the very best it can be. A part of the fear of letting go is the fear that failure will result. If the book receives rejections, those are perceived as the book’s failures. So these authors never let their little darlings leave the nest and just keep working and working and working on them. In that respect, the book is never done.

A good remedy for this situation is to set a goal for submitting the book and following a step-by-step plan. Once a goal is set outside the realm of actually writing the book, the book can move from a perpetual work in progress to a project that is ‘making the rounds.’

I’m so sick of IT, I just have to stop working on IT. A lot of authors run into problems with their stories and don’t know how to fix them. They write themselves into a corner and can’t find their way out. Or they’ve gone over their story so many times, trying to fix this or that problem pointed out by different critique groups and friends and first, second, third, or fiftieth readers, they don’t even recognize their story anymore. And they just have to stop working on it because they have gone so far off track, they’ve lost focus and interest in their book. The only thing they can do at this point is put it away and forget about it. So ... the book is never finished. It’s a sock-drawer victim.

But in time, and with a lot of courage and forethought, a sock-drawer victim can be rescued to become a sock-drawer survivor. It takes a strong writer with perseverance and the will to beat the book in order to dig in, rework it, and finally finish it. However, many authors just do some tinkering and make this kind of book passable so they can simply type ‘the end’ and say they finished it. Often, they’ve gone over their work so many times that the obvious typos and gaping plot holes simply disappear in front of their tired and disinterested eyes. So, although the book may be technically finished, it also may not be anywhere near ready to publish. The best approach for this is to finish it as far as the writer can go with it, then put it away for a short time, two weeks or a month, and take it out again to look at it with fresh eyes, with the objective of polishing it for submission to an agent or publisher.

I can’t stop thinking of new things to add to IT. This type of writer is so enthusiastic about writing, he is flooded with ideas and can’t write fast enough to get all the stories out of his head. Before one book is finished, more ideas form and make their way into a book they have no business invading. This type of writer may actually start two, three, or four different stories at the same time and be so distracted by his own ideas that he can’t focus long enough on any of his projects to finish even one before beginning yet another.

For this kind of writer, a structured writing approach may be beneficial. Plotting and planning may seem boring but actually are necessary steps to keep the flighty writer on track.

I did all I could, but IT didn’t work out. This type of writer has a tendency to cave at the first sign of difficulty and doesn’t understand or want to acknowledge the concept of goal-setting and progress-planning. The idea of writing a book may seem intriguing but at the same time daunting, so this writer tells herself she’ll try it. She’ll give herself an unrealistic deadline to piddle around with writing, coming at it hesitantly from different angles, but never really do any serious preparation to develop writing skills. She wants everything to be insanely easy so she doesn’t have to roll up her sleeves to dig in and get her hands dirty. In the end, nothing substantial comes of her writing venture, and her self-imposed deadline for success expires without her finishing anything that can be called a book. So she feels perfectly justified in letting the whole exercise fade away into the distant memories of all her other feeble attempts at accomplishing something ... anything.

What this writer needs to succeed and to actually finish something is guidance, perhaps in the form of a step-by-step plan. This writer may benefit from attending some writing seminars or enrolling in a one-to-one novel-writing classes where an outside taskmaster keeps her on track.

So, which one are you? Maybe you resemble one or more of these typical wannabe-an-author descriptions. And maybe you have some problems not touched on here. But whatever reason you may have for not finishing your book or for not carrying it through to the logical conclusion of publishing, know this. There are millions of writers out there who dreamed of writing a book and managed somehow to see their dreams through to the end. They finished what they started and got it published, good or bad, big publisher or self-published. With the right mindset, the right preparation, and the right perseverance, you can too.

Pat Morrison, Penumbra Publishing

(PS - KUDOS on the new look. I liked the old blog art, but also like the new color scheme!)

The Best Time to Write

Best Time to Write?

Eddie Says – Break the Rules!

By Robert J. Wetherall

“Any time is the best time for writing,” so celebrated writer, welder, and my close friend, Eddie Salinski, proclaimed one Sunday when I found him at home in his trailer. I had brought up the subject of creative timing after I developed a profound case of writer’s block. It was only natural that I seek sage advice from Eddie, as he has seen practically everything there is to see in the ups and downs of writing.

Eddie was busy giving his pet raccoon, Petey, a bath in an old galvanized wash basin. The poor little beastie looked at me with his sad burglar-in-the-night eyes, as if imploring me to free him from the realm of soapy water and let him return to his usual resting place atop his master’s bed.

“You gotta realize,” Eddie said, vigorously lathering the top-knot on Petey’s head, “when the muse strikes, you go with it, no matter what the clock in the kitchen says. Hell, I get my best ideas about two in the morning, usually after a bad dinner. All kinds of wild and woolly stuff pops into my head – most of it sheer crap, but worthy of being sorted out when I get up. Of course, I usually forget a lot, but more often than not, I’ll remember a little jewel, just a little sparkling thing that I can use to goose up a scene or two.

“And forget that stuff about writer’s block. No such thing. Just grab that cheap laptop of yours and start pounding away. Like a good BM, you’ll start loosening up, and before you know it, that so-called block is history.”

Eddie picked up Petey and a thick towel and began rubbing the two together like he was trying to light a fire. Petey’s little paws flailed this way and that as Eddie tousled his furry friend to a fair-thee-well.

“Sometimes I like to just sit myself down and start writing, not knowing where I’m going or why I’m going there. That’s when it’s really fun, when you find yourself drifting into all kinds of unexpected places. Kinda like Alice in Wonderland. My best stuff comes when I can’t tell you how or why I got there.”

“But that’s your style,” I said. “It probably wouldn’t work for me or anyone else.”

“Jeez,” he exclaimed, “don’t take everything I say so literally. Get with the concept, Bobbo.”

“What about all those writers who have certain personal writing rules, who get up every morning and, like clockwork, write from seven ‘til noon, and never miss a day?”

“Their pants are too tight,” Eddie said, hitching up his faded Wranglers.

He kind of shook Petey as if he were going to hang the little guy out to dry, but the raccoon, all fluffed up and cute as the dickens, squirmed loose and jumped onto the nearby bed. The raccoon looked at us suspiciously with his little brown bandit eyes and promptly fell asleep.

“Another thing,” Eddie said, dumping the wash basin in the front yard, “you don’t have to be around the house to write. Be mobile. Put that idea down inside your damn head. Carry it around for a while. Tinker and toy with it. Bounce it around a little. Squeeze it like Charmin. You’ll have a lot more fun that way. Then, when it’s convenient, slam it into the old Magic Box.”

Eddie glanced over at Petey. “Christ almighty, he’s on my pillow again. He knows better.” He gently lifted the sleepy raccoon and placed him at the foot of the bed.

“Rules,” he said.

Robert J. Wetherall

Last Flight Home

The Making of Bernie Trumble

Forever Andrew

Available at Amazon

TUESDAY TIPS AND TIDBITS - Breaking the Rules

Another TUESDAY TIPS AND TIDBITS from Paranormal Wire...

Rules. Rules of writing. Rules of submitting. Punctuation, sentences structure, modifying clauses, past participles, beginning-middle-end, who-what-when-where-why-how, submit only manuscripts of this or that type, don’t exceed X-word-count, use only X-typeface, wait a year to find out if you’ll get published, blah blah blah blah blah...

What writer wants to worry about rules? Writing is supposed to be fun. And it is fun for those who truly enjoy writing – until rules start to overshadow creativity. Then the fun of writing can quickly turn into an arduous chore, with The Little Editor on one’s shoulder trying to take over and bring everything fun to a screeching halt. Rules can be stifling. Rules can pen up a story instead of allowing the pen to scrawl freely. Never start a sentence with a conjunction like ‘and’ or ‘but.’ Never end a sentence with a preposition like ‘about’ or ‘for.’ XYZ Publishing only wants happy endings. ABC Books only wants heroines under thirty. So why do writers need rules anyway?

For consistency, and to make life easier for those making the rules.

But Ralph Waldo Emerson warned, ‘A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.’ Note the qualifier, ‘a foolish consistency.’ That refers to adherence to consistency (dictated by rules) that is counterproductive or simply doesn’t make sense – foolish. The smart writer is going to learn the rules so that they can be ignored for a good reason – not out of ignorance or laziness. This does not mean that every writer has to be a grammar expert or memorize The Chicago Manual of Style, or reformat a manuscript fifty different ways to submit to fifty different publishers.

What this means in regard to writing rules is the writer should have enough basic knowledge of standard writing rules (or be able to look them up) so that when she writes, everything works as expected, and a typical reader will understand what the author is trying to convey. This is a basic covenant, as in driving. You stay on your side of the road, and I’ll stay on mine. When we meet at an intersection, we both stop because there’s a stop sign for each of us. You use a turn signal so I’ll know which way you want to go. That way everything works as expected, and unhappy confusion and accidents can be avoided.

In the case of submissions, yes, it’s always good to know what a publisher (or agent) expects to see. And if you submit something that is totally inappropriate (like sending your poetry to a publisher who flatly states they don’t accept or publish poetry) then you are going to be wasting your time and the recipient’s. So it’s best to find publishers whose ‘rules’ can conceivably encompass what you’ve written. In that case, rules are in place to keep everybody busy doing productive work instead of wasting time shuffling through inappropriate material that can’t be used.

But rules can oftentimes be a big bore, resulting in boring writing. Like, following the rule of telling what-when-where-why-and-how, using a straight timeline to tell your story from A to Z, with no surprises for the reader in between. And sometimes publishers’ submission rules seem really stupid. Like, if you don’t follow a certain format exactly, and use ‘smart quotes’ instead of ‘straight quotes’ then your manuscript will get rejected.

Remember, rules, especially basic writing rules, are provided as a safety net for the beginning writer to use until a certain confidence is achieved. After the writer understands why the rules are in place and what functions they serve, those rules can (and many times should) be ignored to break out of the box and achieve something possibly extraordinary. To test your wings, try writing in a stream-of-consciousness style and let your emotion burst forth. Break out of the norms you are comfortable with, to find yourself charting new writing territory. At that point, you may end up with a nonsensical mess, or you may have a great story on your hands. But you won’t know until you break free of those constricting rules and try.

Submission rules, on the other hand, can also be ignored, and possibly result in a rejection. But sometimes ignoring the rules can actually get your work attention it might not otherwise have received. For example, one of Penumbra Publishing’s most successful series authors sent all the books of the series attached to the query email, rather than following our guidelines at the time, which asked only for the first three chapters of one book at a time. At first we thought it was a joke, but then realized all the attachments were complete and separate books. If we’d seen only the first three chapters of the first book, we might possibly have passed on the submission, but after seeing the author’s complete work, we ended up accepting it for publishing. And, in hindsight, we’re glad we did. The author’s audacity in ignoring our rules resulted in a publishing contract.

For publishers who have a standard policy of ‘no unsolicited manuscripts accepted,’ there are ways to get around that. One is to establish personal contact with an editor from that publisher through a writing conference or book convention. At conferences, authors can make appointments to pitch their work to editors and possibly get an invitation to submit their work for consideration. With an invitation to send the manuscript to a specific editor, the manuscript is ‘requested’ rather than ‘unsolicited’ – and the envelope or email should say ‘requested.’ Of course conferences can be expensive in travel costs and fees, and there’s not always a guarantee that the author will even get an appointment with the desired editor.

Another avenue might be a recommendation from a fellow author who is already published with a publishing company. Of course invitations to submit that result in acceptance contracts will depend greatly on the author’s quality of work. Recommendations from well-known authors can also help garner reader attention for an unknown author’s work. For instance, the same author who submitted an entire series to us also got a famous author to review the first book in the series, which helped boost attention for this author’s work. So contacts, networking, and just plain audacity in cold-contacting ‘famous’ or hard-to-reach folks can oftentimes work to the author’s advantage. The dark side of the scenario is that the author can be branded as a pest and get banned from forums or alienate folks who might otherwise have been willing to help further the author’s agenda. So good manners and respectfulness are requirements when boldly breaking rules.

The trick, then, for writing or for submitting – or anything in life – is to first know the rules, and then decide which of those rules can be broken to achieve a desired effect without causing harm to yourself or others. Take the time to learn why you need rules, then figure out how to ignore them graciously to get what you want!

Patricia Morrison, Penumbra Publishing

Dust-Off Challenge Number 3

7/8/11

The Newfoundland Vampire by Charles O.

Genre: Horror (Vampire)

80,200 words

***Penumbra Publishing’s Summary Critique***

Note: Query packet excerpts are provided below the critique for reference

A. QUERY LETTER. Overall, the query letter follows an expected format and content, with the exception of telling what the story is about. The letter starts off giving the story statistics and title at the very beginning, mentions some outside editing on the story, some online marketing avenues, lists the author’s background and education, mentions some more marketing objectives, then ends. The storyline itself is not mentioned within the query letter, but a synopsis outside the body of the letter is attached at the bottom.

1.      STORY STATISTICS. An RE (regarding) line at the beginning, that contained all the story statistics such as title, genre, and word count would be more helpful than burying that information in the first paragraph.

2.      BACKGROUND. The author’s writing background could be summarized more positively by removing or rewording negative references such as, ‘This is my first novel so I have not had anything else significant published.’ Alternative wording might simply mention this is the author’s first novel.

3.      EXPERIENCE. References to review and newsletter writing experience could be condensed and summarized with less specific detail. For example, instead of saying, ‘I used to write for a student newspaper in at [XYZ] University and had music and movie reviews published. I also wrote for, edited and produced a newsletter for a Star Trek fan club also at [XYZ] University.’ this information could be placed immediately after the educational information and reworded as, ‘Several of my music and movie reviews were published in my university’s newspaper. I also produced and edited a Star Trek fan club newsletter.’

4.      WEB PRESENCE. This author states he did not feel having a web site before getting published was necessary. However he did note two author friends and gave their web site URLs, suggesting they might help him develop a web site later. We recommend the author have an active web site for his writing before contacting prospective agents or publishers. There are several reasons for this. The author can have others give him tips on how to improve his web site and make it look as professional as possible. Fellow authors can help with this. Then when the author contacts prospective publishers, they’ll be able to see what kind of self-promotion activities the author has already been doing. For authors short on funds or web savvy, we recommend a ‘starter’ site, maybe a free hosted site with a subdomain. Free templates and easy user interfaces make this a simpler job than it may seem, and we do recommend that every author have some kind of rudimentary web site so readers and publishers and other professionals can go take a look and ‘meet the author.’ The author can always make changes/improvements later.

5.      STORY SUMMARY. The story summarized within the query letter should be very brief, no more than two or three short paragraphs, and should give a general idea of what the story is about, with just enough specifics to sound enticing or at least interesting. A typical query letter gives story statistics then dives right into the introduction and overview of the story, giving the writer’s background and marketing ideas last. This query letter deviates from that format by barely mentioning the story and focusing almost exclusively on the author. The purpose of the query letter is to introduce the book as well as the author, and to give an idea of the story’s appeal as well as author’s credentials. It is a ‘first contact’ selling tool that must sell both the story and the author, and do it in as little space as practical. An overly detailed story summary tacked on at the end of the letter after the closing signature but included as part of the letter bogs down the ‘first contact’ query letter with too much detail and information. A better approach is to supply the lengthier and more detailed story summary in a separate document as requested.

B. THE STORY. This author provided the entire story for review as part of our regular submission process but gave us permission to use the submission as a Dust-Off Challenge entry as well.

1. WRITING TECHNIQUE. The story is told in third-person past-tense, (he saw the dog and then ran), the usual method used by the majority of novelists. Technically the author’s writing is readable despite numerous and pervasive punctuation errors, mostly in dialog. The sentence structure follows expected standards with few surprises – and thus, unfortunately, offers little noticeable variety in sentence structure that would, if present, give the story a needed boost. Additionally, the inclusion of minute details that seem overall to be irrelevant to the story, are included in such a way that the writing quickly becomes pedestrian and tiresome to read. Below is an excerpt from one paragraph as an example to illustrate...

Joseph’s parents believed in ownership of multiple cars and vans but this one was principally his. It was a four-door blue 2000 Neon Sport. Joseph had just received it a few months ago as a birthday present and he dearly loved this car. It had nothing automatic but it had a spoiler on the back and could go fast. Joseph had almost lost his license from a large speeding ticket but had since slowed down. He pulled out the key chain and unlocked the driver’s side door and slid into the front seat. Immediately Joseph looked for his mp3 player and was annoyed when he realized he had left it in his room. He was never a big fan of the radio but he could handle a little classic rock so he turned on the OZ FM station. He started the car and pulled a left to get out of the car lot. It was 4:30pm and Joseph thought once off the Prince Phillip Parkway and onto the outer ring road he should be able to avoid some of the five ‘o’clock traffic. Newfoundland, aside from the weather, was ideal for Joseph. He hated crowds and traffic, which are two things Newfoundland had very little of compared to most places in the world. Joseph read on the Internet once that typical L.A. traffic lasted anywhere from two to three hours if you tried to get anywhere around 4pm.

These types of mundane details give the reader very little useable information that moves the story forward or even hints at critical character details. Really, no reader is going to care whether Joseph likes the car he’s driving or prefers MP3 players and is annoyed that he left his in his room. On the other hand, if he does something unexpected or exciting with the car or the MP3 player, then that would be information the reader would gladly want to read about.

2. STORY TIMELINE AND PLOT DEVELOPMENT. The timeline of the story is uncomplicated, moving forward from a period when the main character is a teen to the time he is in college. There are no revelations presented in a way that surprise the reader. Instead, the surprise happens only to the main character as the story progresses. This is a direct result of the straightforward way the story is told. We recommend the writer retool the opening chapter and its scenes to create a sense of suspense that makes the reader want to continue turning pages to find out what happens next. There is no incentive whatsoever to find out what this apparently nerdy boy is going to do next. And the author gives too many hints about the woman who watches him, so it is no surprise to discover she is a vampire who is planning to meet up with him when he’s a few years older.
3. THE CHARACTERS. The main character Joseph is obviously a nerdy thirteen-year-old. And, oddly enough, his age is never mentioned in the prolog but is revealed only in the story summary, so the reader would have to read the summary to know this detail. Joseph prefers playing with superhero action figures over socially interacting with other kids his own age. He’s a constant victim of bullying and recedes into role-playing games and comic books for solace. While the author does a good job of showing what a pathetic boy the main character is, he does nothing to interest the reader in this boy or what happens to him. The author may have hoped that the reader would feel sorry for the boy, but in fact failed to show the boy possessing any spark of inner strength or backbone that seems essential for a main character to succeed in a story. The only thing of interest that the vampire lady who was watching Joseph did was to leave her kitten where Joseph could find it, in the hope the cat would bring the boy some happiness. This plot device fails to engender any interest in the characters or the ongoing story. We actually found that act of leaving the cat a bit weird, even though it is clear it plays out later in the story – or at least is discussed again.
4. HOOK AND SUSPENSE. The story opening lacks a hook or something to draw the reader in and proceeds in an anticlimactic fashion. By the end of the prolog chapter, the biggest suspenseful revelation is ... Ultimately Ginger became Joseph’s cat and she brought him much joy and comfort as the years went by. Never did he suspect that he was meant to find this particular cat. The cat perhaps plays a bigger part in the rest of the story, but really, by this time, a typical reader isn’t going to care enough to read further and find out just how this cat figures into the story. The reason for this is mostly because of the way the story is told in a straightforward style without holding enough back from the reader to create a suspenseful setup.
5. POINT OF VIEW. Another inherent problem is the treatment of the story from a detached viewpoint. Statements like the excerpt above (Never did he suspect that he was meant to find this particular cat.) are disruptive to the reading flow and create a distance between the reader and the character. The revelation of Joseph’s future, which he cannot possibly know, is told to the reader by someone other than the character. The intrusion of an omniscient godlike invisible narrator who steps between the reader and the character to tell things about the character the reader could not otherwise know is a sure way to stop the reader from bonding with the character. Bonding with the character is essential if the reader is to care about what happens to the character throughout the story.
6. BELIEVABILITY. Inclusion of unrealistic or hard-to-accept details or situations in a story will make the reader doubt the validity of the story and the author’s ability to deliver a believable story. For example, the fact that Joseph puts his winter coat on upside down and inside out without noticing it is quite unbelievable. A winter coat is bulky and tailored to fit the body in a specific configuration. With the bottom hem hunched up around his neck, how could Joseph not know his coat was on upside down? A thin nylon jacket ... maybe ... but not a thick winter coat. We recommended the author try putting his own winter coat on upside down just to see how it feels before including that kind of absurd detail in his story. While not every reader would question a minor detail like this, the fact that we noticed it is warning enough that one slip of disbelief can undermine the reader’s confidence in the author.

C. IN SUMMARY. While the story mechanics and writing style are acceptable, they are not exceptional in the current state. Our recommendation is that the author take this very competent first draft and tweak it in a number of ways to add some intrigue and interest to the storytelling itself.

1. First, delete an overabundance of nonessential details. Include only what is necessary to directly show characterization or to set the mood for the story. Do include enough detail so that the reader can figure out the basic who-what-when-where-and-why of the story as it unfolds.
2. Second, create more suspense, especially at the beginning, by not telling too much up front and by working in some intrigue for the reader to discover. Doing this will subconsciously pick up the pace for the reader by making the reader more eager to read what happens next, thus making story seem to move along more quickly.
3. Clean up punctuation, especially for the dialog in the beginning several chapters.
4. The storyline deals with a sensitive young man trying to come to terms with the violence and death inherent in being a vampire. This story treatment is not new and has been literally done to death. This novel, if it is to garner any interest at all from readers in a genre overflowing with vampire stories, needs to run deep as far as character arc is concerned. Either the character interactions must be unique, or the experiences the characters undergo must be unique. To ensure this isn’t more of the same old thing already out there, the author should read as much vampire literature of the same type as he is writing, to make sure his book brings something new and different and interesting to the reader.
5.  It is not enough to slap a location title on a story and put it in a locale different from that expected for a vampire tale. We’d like to see a real sense of the area with more references to what makes Newfoundland a unique place in the world to live.
6. The epilog ending seems ripe for a sequel but is rather anticlimactic. It should be shored up with the same suspense techniques listed above.

As always, we genuinely and deeply appreciate each author’s willingness to allow us the opportunity to review their work. While we do not always accept for publishing every submission we receive, we are always happy to review a manuscript again once it has been modified. This particular story appears to have great potential but does need some reworking to reach that potential. We invite the author to contact us privately with questions if further clarification is needed.

[QUERY LETTER EXCERPT]

[portion deleted for privacy concerns]

Please find attached a copy of my manuscript, The Newfoundland Vampire, for publication with Penumbra Publishing. It is a work of fiction and would be considered in the horror/vampire genre. It is 80,228 words. I hired a local editor, [portion deleted for privacy concerns], to look at my manuscript twice before submitting it. You may notice my Facebook and Twitter pages are personal ones, I know that both pages can be made for a book but I saw little point in doing so until it becomes published (or is about to). Also I will make a website once I know the book will be published.

 I used to write for a student newspaper in at [portion deleted for privacy concerns] University and had music and movie reviews published. I also wrote for, edited and produced a newsletter for a [portion deleted for privacy concerns] fan club also at [portion deleted for privacy concerns] University.

I have a BA in [portion deleted for privacy concerns] and a Masters in [portion deleted for privacy concerns]. Currently I work as [portion deleted for privacy concerns] but I have plenty of free time and I am prepared to fully promote my book. First off I would be able to sell copies at my workplace. I would also do all the traditional activities such as book readings, book signings, conventions, conferences, writing workshops, a booth at a trade show, a booth at a flea market, spots on radio, interviews with papers, radio and television if possible along with Facebook, Twitter and a website with a blog. I am fortunate to have two author friends who can help me in this regard. Both of whom you can look up at [portion deleted for privacy concerns] and [portion deleted for privacy concerns]

The ideal audience would be 20-45 year old males and females. I think a combination of history, nature and culture combined with the vampire myth makes this novel unique. I peppered the book with humor and try to show the comical aspects of vampire life as well approaching it in a serious manner. I put a lot of myself into this work and I did the best I could with it, I think that’s all any writer can do. I have spent over a year writing it and I believe through careful editing (and plenty of feedback) that I have written a good story that many readers will enjoy. I also think that Ebooks are the future of the industry and I hope this book can be a part of it.

Please do not hesitate to contact me at the above listed number or via e-mail [portion deleted for privacy concerns]. Thank you for your consideration of my novel and I hope to speak with you soon.

yours truly,

Charles

Summary:

The Newfoundland Vampire explores the vampire myth in a modern day setting with often serious but sometimes comical results. The prologue shows Joseph at 13 and introduces the second main character, Cassandra, as she starts to impact his life. Initially Cassandra sends Ginger, her cat, to comfort Joseph. In the first chapter Joseph meets Cassandra at university (10 years later) and is secretly turned by her that night. Soon afterwards they go on several dates and many hints are given as to what Joseph has become. We are also introduced to several of Joseph’s friends when they get together for a board game and they ask about Cassandra. Joseph has the strangest craving to drink blood from his cat and friends but he resists. By the end of chapter six Joseph can resist no longer and drinks blood for the first time, from a moose. He knows what he has become. He confronts Cassandra and learns she turned him into a vampire. He also learns how vampires can share each other’s blood through a blood embrace. This blood embrace allows Cassandra and Joseph to share thoughts, ideas and memories. Joseph in turn learns who Cassandra really is, [portion deleted to protect author’s story idea] and how she was turned. Once the transformation occurs the book examines how a good person copes with an unholy thirst for blood. A major aspect of Joseph’s personality is that he is an animal lover and vegetarian, as a vampire these things are both a challenge and a blessing for him. Joseph asks many questions about a vampire’s nature as they continue to build their relationship. Joseph then explores his powers by playing poker (learning he can influence people’s minds) and practicing sword fighting with Cassandra. Soon the temptation to seek out a criminal and deliver justice becomes his obsession and he is given that chance when a woman dies at his feet. The twist is that Joseph must drink human blood to [portion deleted to protect author’s story idea] and he regrets this action terribly. He is also horrified when the dead body must be [portion deleted to protect author’s story idea]. Joseph is threatened by Cassandra and their relationship is tested. Cassandra, meanwhile, has her own secrets and often manipulates Joseph to her own ends.

As the book progresses they find the woman’s killer and deliver a brutal beating to him. Joseph has more regret and has concerns about the way Cassandra has treated him. Cassandra shares memories with Joseph of how she met [portion deleted to protect author’s story idea], the twist that he too is a vampire, and was once [portion deleted to protect author’s story idea]. John Snow (Cassandra’s estranged vampire husband) has his own chapter where we learn some of his past and see the pleasure he takes in combat with other vampires. Cassandra, meanwhile, makes their training sessions more intense as she strongly suspects John will soon return but does not tell Joseph. Joseph and Cassandra, however, dream of John Snow as he approaches on the ferry to Newfoundland. Joseph is also given an offer to join with John in his dream but he only considers it for the briefest of moments. Joseph maintains his contact with his friends and Cassandra is brought along to meet them for a game of Dungeons and Dragons, despite the impending danger. After a climactic battle, where Joseph uses a moose to turn the tide of battle, they defeat John and it is revealed that Cassandra had another creation before him and that they are being watched. Joseph and Cassandra have an argument where more truths are revealed; she gave him Ginger ten years ago and did once make another vampire to defeat John. Joseph is shocked by these revelations and tells Cassandra that he can deal with no more secrets. He is hurt and his trust is shaken but ultimately he has come to love Cassandra and he decides the vampire world is too dangerous for him alone. While Joseph is out for a walk to think he finds a stray cat in a parking lot. He is confronted by another vampire, the same who watched their fight, sent by a [portion deleted to protect author’s story idea]. The epilogue features Donald Rathmore, John Snow’s secret creation and his brutal killing of a girl in Mexico. Donald senses his creator’s death and decides he would like the challenge of fighting vampires for a change as the story ends.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If at first your don't succeed...

David Berardelli's paranormal thriller

From Paranormal Wire's TUESDAY TIPS AND TIDBITS column...

Okay, repeat after me ... “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.” Yes, that’s how the famous old saying goes. Old sayings still ring true generation after generation, because there’s an element of relevance or conviction to them that makes them still applicable today, despite their age and clichéd overuse. So ... how is this particular saying relevant for writers?

Writers Who Can’t Finish

For the beginning writer who’s not yet published, this saying could mean many different things. Let’s take a typical novice author who really wants to finish that first great American novel, but just can’t seem to get it done. For writers in this situation, ‘try, try again’ means ‘keep at it.’

Many writers will let the familiar lame excuses of ‘I don’t have time’ stop them cold and keep them from reaching their goal. Don’t let that happen to you! If you don’t have time to write, make time. Rearrange your schedule. Give up sleeping in, work later into the night after your kids have gone to bed, let your family know this is something you really want to do, and steal the time necessary to work on what’s really important to you. The key is what is really important to you. If finishing your novel is one of your top priorities, you will find the time to do it. If you decide you can’t possibly realign your priorities due to other commitments, maybe you really do have too much on your plate right now. A realistic approach might be to wait until some of those other obligations get taken care of. But the reality is, if you put it off too long, you will simply let other things that come along continue to take priority over your dream of finishing your novel, until that dream becomes a distant, faded, forgotten memory. Now, admit it. It’s really an avoidance technique more than a time-management problem that prevents you from finishing that novel.

For the writer who’s ‘stuck’ and can’t seem to move forward with a story, ‘try, try again’ means not banging your head against a blank computer screen night after night, but instead means ‘try something else that works.’ In this case, you have to step outside your own box of Crayons and find a way to bring something new into the picture. That may mean getting advice from a writing partner or a critique group. It may mean reading some ‘how-to’ books on plotting and revision. The thing is, you have to pinpoint why you’re stuck, and then not try the same old thing you already know isn’t working. Instead, try something different until you find a way that does work to help you finish your novel.

These same ‘I’m stuck’ excuses and fix-techniques apply equally to those authors who have completed previous novels but can’t seem to move forward with the next one. Each story presents its own unique set of problems with character motivation and plotline, but the smart writer will find ways to deal with it, even if it means skipping a problematic section of the novel to keep moving forward. That problem section does however need to be addressed at some point before the novel can really be considered finished. The key is to stick with it and do whatever is necessary to finish.

Writers Who Just Give Up

Now suppose you’re one of those writers who’s finished your novel but can’t seem to get it published. After all, getting published was why you wrote the darn thing in the first place, wasn’t it? Yet here you are, faced with two – count ‘em, two – rejections! Now you are a failure. Right? Wrong! You’re a failure only if you give up trying. Remember that good old phrase, ‘try, try again’? But let’s say you’ve queried five publishers. Even ten. Maybe even a hundred! And you still can’t get anyone to take a look at your work. Shouldn’t you be able to admit you’re a failure by then?

Well, the truth is, yes, you can stop trying at any time in this game and admit you’ve failed, and allow yourself permission to not achieve your goal of becoming a published author. But, before you do that, examine why you want to quit. Is it just too much work and bother having to submit your manuscript and then wait around? Have you seemingly wasted years of your life doing this and feel you need to move on and leave that particular dream behind, unfulfilled? Everyone can find some way to justify failure. Blame it on the economy, on stupid publishers who wouldn’t know a book from a boat, and so forth. But maybe, just maybe, it’s your own approach to seeking success that is the failure – not you. Perhaps you can’t fix yourself, but you can fix what you do and how you do it.

‘Try, try again,’ as stated before, does not mean that you have to do the same old thing the same old way to ensure you get the same old unsatisfactory result. Any serious writer will keep all rejection letters as a record of who not to approach again. Take your rejection letters out and look at them. Are they all the same kind of form letter saying something innocuous like, ‘Not for us,’ or ‘Not interested at this time?’ If you’ve got even one letter that says something individual, meant just for you, like, ‘The story concept was interesting, but the writing left much to be desired,’ there’s a clue, putting you way ahead of the game. Maybe your attempts to get published are not a failure, but a wakeup call to go back and revamp your novel. If you haven’t bothered to get honest opinions from a good writing partner or critique group, maybe that should be part of your ‘try, try again’ approach.

Writers Who Believe the Hype

You wanted all the fortune and fame that comes with being a bestselling author. You thought the life of a writer would be glamorous and sophisticated – no real work involved, just lounging around in your PJs and thinking up stories. And maybe an occasional invitation to appear on the David Letterman Show to tout your latest work, hobnobbing with other guest stars. Wow, what a gig!

Yes, great work – if you can get it. But believe it or not, the life of successful writers is not filled with glamour and parties and days on end spent staring out the window at the fantastic view offered by a beach house retreat. Writing is work – oftentimes really difficult work. And it can be lonely work – most of the time without anyone around to pat you on the back and say, ‘Good job, well done.’ Sometimes the attendant responsibilities of a successful writing career involve a lot of compulsory travel, appearances, interviews, and other promotional activities. Then there’s the pressure. Writers who’ve made it to the bestseller list still have to come up with that next blockbuster novel, and their fans will be watching to make sure they don’t turn out some carbon copy of the last one. Each story has to be unique, with characters different from the last, and new problems to solve. Even successful writers have to stay on top of their game, or somebody new will come along and eat their lunch.

The truth is, most ‘regular’ writers are not full-time writers. They hold down ‘day’ jobs to earn a living. They have families to take care of, mortgages to pay, and social obligations that don’t include champagne at the occasional black-tie dinner party. For most writers, their writing career is not glamorous and doesn’t even come close to paying the bills.

For those writers who’ve managed to get published and are looking at dismal sales numbers – or even no sales at all – the hype, the fantasy of being a published author can be a bitter pill to swallow. Many authors who find themselves looking at sporadic and laughable royalty payments simply want to throw in the towel. And that’s the absolute worst time to quit, give up, throw in the towel, and go home. Why? Because they’ve come this far, they’ve achieved their publishing dreams, so why give it all up? Yes, maybe all that working and waiting and hoping just doesn’t seem worth it. And yes, things didn’t turn out at all like they'd hoped. But real writers can’t quit. They love writing too much, even though it seems to have slapped them in the face.

The truth is, not every book is going to be a blockbuster. Why? Because not every story is the same. A bestseller will appeal to a wide audience and speak to each reader individually. A bestseller will gain the attention of the reading world, not always because it deserves to, but because the author worked hard, was lucky, met the right people at the right place at the right time, and didn’t give up. At any time along the way, the author – not the book, but the author – could have made a misstep ... could have written a shallow or uninteresting book, could have been lazy and decided not to go that extra mile to make people take notice of his book, or could have torpedoed any chance of success by being recalcitrant and impatient, thereby alienating the very people who might have helped make him a star in the literary world.

There’s no easy answer for the age-old questions many writers ask – “Why can’t I be successful? Why can’t my book be a bestseller? Why won’t readers buy my book?” But I can tell you for certain that the writer who quits tireless promotion efforts and gives up searching for new efforts that work doesn’t deserve to ask these questions. So, if your writing career is not what you’d like it to be, take a good hard look at what you’re doing or not doing, and ... ‘try, try again.’

Patricia Morrison, Penumbra Publishing

DUST-OFF CHALLENGE #2

We have completed our review of query number 2 for our 'Dust-Off Challenge' series and thank author Mohan D. for allowing us to share his work with our readers and to critique his submission.

Please visit our blog page entitled "Dust-Off Challenge" to see the latest entry.

The Dust-off Challenge

Okay, so we are a book publisher. Yes, that is our business, and we are fairly new at it, having started this venture in January of 2009. Publishing is what we are focused on right now – publishing and selling books. But we are also authors who have banded together to help each other do what authors do – write. In our somewhat limited experience, we have seen many query packets that left much to be desired – so much, in fact, that we had to turn down books because, in our collective opinion, to make these books publishable and marketable required more time and effort and work in the form of rewriting than we were prepared to offer.


However, in the interest of providing a community service, and to give our blog more grist for the mill, we are offering a challenge, or just a fun time for all you unpublished authors out there who have not yet been able to figure out why you can’t get your books published by a traditional publisher. Or maybe you just haven’t worked up the courage yet to ignore the ‘no unsolicited manuscripts’ warning most publishers post, and just send the darn thing, hoping someone will take pity on you and publish your book. Or perhaps you’re hoping to self-publish and haven’t yet worked up the courage to go through with that somewhat daunting process. Whatever the case, we are offering to give a free critical analysis of your query packet. Here is our challenge to you...

Send us your tired, your poor, your hungry... (No, wait, that’s from the Statue of Liberty inscription, isn’t it?) Never mind that. Dust off that FINISHED MANUSCRIPT and send us your would-be / could-be query. No obligation, no strings attached – except a disclaimer agreement to allow us to critique your query on our blog. We will post your query letter and synopsis in whole or in part, plus our take on your 25 pages, giving you detailed advice regarding how we think you might improve your work and your query approach.

We get plenty of queries to keep us out of the bars at night. And we do provide a critique privately for most queries we receive, but we also figured that a public critique might benefit writers out there who are having a hard time figuring out how to make their query packets (and their manuscripts) the best they can be. We hope to do one of these every week on our blog, and we invite you to participate by sending us your query packet (for finished manuscripts only) to our general email address...

PenumbraPublishing@gmail.com

Please send the following via email:

SUBJECT LINE: Dust-off Challenge

QUERY LETTER: Include in body of email and tell us in your best words why we should publish your book. Don’t ramble, make your query letter short and sweet, no more than two regular pages if on 8.5x11 paper. Tell us the following:

• Your name (and pseudonym if applicable)
• Your email address
• Your real address
• Your phone number
• Your book title
• The genre of your book
• The number of electronic words of your book
• A brief description of your self-marketing plans, including URLs to your web site, Facebook page, Twitter profile, etc.
• List any relevant previous publishing/writing experience or education or professional affiliation.
• DON’T FORGET to include a statement of permission for us to use your first name and writing query packet in part or in whole on our blog.

ATTACHMENTS: As an attachment to the email please include the following in one file either WORD or OPEN OFFICE or RTF...

• A two-page synopsis of your story including major characters, major story arcs, and ending
• The first 25 pages of your novel or first chapter as close to 25 pages as you can get

WE WILL email you back with a queue number, giving you an idea of what week your query critique will appear in our blog. We will use first names only and will not disclose any private information. However, if we find your writing style and story interesting enough, we may ask you to submit your entire manuscript for review for publication. You of course are not obligated in any way to respond to such a request – but you might be excited if we offered you a publishing contract, right?

 

And that’s the extent of the DUST-OFF CHALLENGE. So figuratively dust off your book languishing in your sock drawer, and let us take a look. If nothing else, just taking another look at it yourself may give you the incentive to follow through and get it in shape to publish! And maybe that will be all the push you need to become a published author.

 

Let the emails begin!

 

Senses of Humor - Beefing up your writing with the five senses

According to my pal, successful author and welder Eddy Salinski, Immersing your readers in your literary masterpiece can be a challenge, but one that offers distinct rewards by creating memorable scenes that will leave your reading audience stunned breathless. The idea is to bring your readers' own sensory systems into play, leveraging the powers of smell, touch, sight, taste, and hearing.

Here are some of Eddy's colorful examples to demonstrate how this can be accomplished:

SMELL: After a fine gourmet lunch at the exclusive highrise restaurant, the well-dressed Avon sales lady stepped into the elevator. As the door closed, she felt an undeniable urge to vent a noxious gas build-up resulting from the rich food she'd consumed. The consequences made her gasp for fresh air. Opening her sample case, she produced a can of Forest Glade air freshener and vigorously sprayed the enclosed space.

When the elevator came to a halt and the door opened, in walked a gentleman who immediately gagged on the wretched blast of malodorous air.
Attempting to deflect responsibility for the pungent atmosphere, the lady exclaimed, "The air is positively horrid in here - what in the world could have happened?"

Coughing and clutching a handkerchief to his nose, the man said, "Hell if I know, but it smells like a bear took a big dump behind a pine tree!"

TOUCH: The old adventurer proceeded to tell his tale that we were hard-pressed to accept as truth. "While touring along the mighty Amazon River, I stopped to examine a clutch of crocodile eggs in a nest along the bank. As I lay prone on the ground, I felt a sharp pain when something clamped my left leg in a vise-like hold. I felt sand and pebbles bite into my cheeks as I was dragged screaming into the water."

SIGHT: The circles of my binocular brought the girl into startling life-size focus, as if my nose was touching her thigh. I readjusted the view field until her full Vargas figure was framed for easy observing. "Good lord!" I whispered to myself as I watched her undress. Just then she turned and looked straight in my direction, as if she knew someone was peeping at her. And then she smiled.

TASTE: My client was a hot little number who suggested an authentic Mexican restaurant for lunch. I couldn't read the menu written in Spanish, and felt it safe to tell the waiter, "I'll have whatever she's having."

"Calamari," my client purred. "You'll love it."

In no time, the waiter returned with two large platters of what looked like deep-fried spiders. Taken aback, I asked timidly, "What's this called in English?"

"Squid," my client informed me, digging in to her serving with gusto.

I shuddered, then decided to man-up and at least try it. Plunging my fork into the mass of crispy, rubbery critters, I chewed ... and chewed ... and chewed. The taste and texture was distinctly unpleasant, as if I'd gobbled a mouthful of rubber bands. Not wanting to embarrass myself by spitting out the mouthful, I swallowed - and nearly choked. Once I was sure I wouldn't spontaneously regurgitate the horrendous mass, I managed a smile and mumbled, "Mmm ... yummy!" then quickly excused myself to dash to the men's room.

HEARING: It started as a muted thumping noise coming up from the basement, then gradually transformed into a series of booms, growing louder with each passing second. A sudden explosion of cymbals startled me into dropping my cup of steaming-hot coffee onto my lap. My sharp scream of pain was drowned in a thunderous cacophony of bangs and bongs that ricocheted through the house, causing the cat to launch from the living room rug with a screeching howl. Hoping to find relief, I grabbed the cat and ran to the back yard, but no solace was to be had. Even eight-inch-thick concrete basement walls were no match for a joyous four-year-old with his brand new drum set.

SUMMING UP: Eddy says it's easy to exploit your reader's senses to enhance your writing. But it's also important to remember to do so appropriately, and throw in a good measure of that other sense - Common Sense!

Robert J. Wetherall
LAST FLIGHT HOME
THE MAKING OF BERNIE TRUMBLE
FOREVER ANDREW
Available at Amazon.com, PenumbraPublishing.com, WetherallBooks.com

Yeah, you want to CORNHOLE!

Now, before anybody gets all in an uproar about my rather suggestive title for this blog, lemme do a little esplainin’. First, I thought this would be a good subject to post on April Fools Day. And while the word ‘cornhole’ may conjure up insidious images of Southern rednecks running through woods to the tune of dueling banjos, I want to make it perfectly clear that ‘cornhole’ is just a game – a backyard game suitable for the whole family to play. It consists of a palm-sized satchels filled with field corn kernels, and a slanted plywood platform with three holes cut it in. The object of the game is to toss the satchels into the holes of the platform to score the highest points. This is an old and dear game, also known as beanbag toss (when the satchels are filled with uncooked beans instead of corn).

A cottage industry has sprung up as a result of the reinvention of this game, and many manufacturers/distributors of the game kits will go to great lengths to customize them or otherwise make them seem worth the sometimes exorbitant prices they charge. This reinvention of old as new is one of the oldest marketing ploys around. And Cornhole isn’t new at all – it’s just beanbag toss renamed. But with the new name comes the fun of an inside joke. Now that you know what ‘cornhole’ refers to, you can go ask your friends, “Hey, ya wanna cornhole?” and get some really bizarre looks. Maybe even get slapped or punched. But once their disgust wears off, you can explain the term ‘cornhole’ and maybe even play a few rounds with your friends.

So what is my point in bringing this unsettling weird term, ‘cornhole’? The point is REINVENTING or even RECYCLING something well-known, to create new buzz for it. Specifically you can do this with your writing, as well as your marketing approach to your writing. For instance, the subject of vampires may seem to have been done to death (no pun intended), but if you can figure out a new way to get more mileage out of this paranormal subgenre, then you’ve got a whole book series ahead of you, which may still be salable in a saturated market. For instance, you could call your vampires some new bizarre name you’ve made up, and present them as bloodsuckers from outerspace. (Oh, wait. That’s been done before.) Or present them as another species of demonic creature. Or ... well, you get the idea. All you have to do is take the familiar and make some innovative changes to create a seemingly new product.

But why bother with ‘new’? Why bother with trying to reinvent the same ol’ same ol’? Well, look at car manufacturers. If they didn’t make model changes every year to render previous models as dated or obsolete, how would they convince anyone to buy a new car? The only people who would buy a car would be those that, for whatever reason, have to buy a new car. But a shiny new model with even more great features than its predecessor is sure to dazzle the eyes of many potential buyers. That’s what you sometimes need to do with your writing, especially if you’re writing in a genre with lots of offerings and lots of competition.

Another thing many writers who’ve been around for a while are doing now is RECYCLING back-listed out-of-print titles to which they’ve regained the copyrights. Now they can update these stories, maybe put a new twist on them, maybe give them a new title, and then reissue them to reach a whole new generation of readers. The same can be done with blog information or any other content you use in your self-marketing routine. Why constantly try to come up with new content when you can spiff up some already used articles, update them for a specific twist, and get new life out of them? If you look at the annual topics of magazines, you’ll find many of them have ‘seasonal’ content that gets regurgitated each year at the same time. Just because you used an article about developing characters once doesn’t mean you can’t use it again to guest blog on someone else’s blog, or submit to an online magazine – provided you retain the copyrights to it.

So, next time somebody asks you if you want to ‘cornhole,’ you tell ‘em, “Heck, yeah!” Cornholing your writing is the smart thing to do.

Dana Warryck

http://www.danawarryck.com

Crystal Clear: Storm Ryder
Lucifer’s Last Lover
The Protectorate: Patriarch
Coming soon - The Dead of Wynter